Harris Fellman Live Life To Its Fullest

My Goodbye to Bill Nagengast

I wanted to share with you all what I’ve said at my father-in-law’s memorial service. He passed away last week due to a motorcycle accident on his way home from visiting us. Here it is:

I’ve never really been compelled to speak at anyone’s memorial service until now. Heck, I haven’t even been compelled to *listen* to anyone speak at a memorial service until now.

I kind of look at life like a big book with a lot of chapters.

My personal chapter with Bill tarted in the summer of 2000 when I had been dating Andrea for just a few months. To say my first impression on him was a lasting one woud be an understatement — I ended up passed out on the bottom of his boat thanks to some really bad long island ice teas at a little bar on the lake.

But, what most people don’t realize, is that Bill actually made a huge impression ON ME. Now remember — I’m a city boy… born Jewish… wierd sense of humor … and as Bill said, I was wearing “short pants” on the boat… I don’t think he’d ever met anyone like me – But, he deidn’t care about any of that. If I was good enough for Andrea – I was good enough for him.

Just from hanging out with him for those first few hours – we played games, we bought some pull tabs (whatever that means), we had some drinks, we went out on the boat, we had some great bar-b-que, we played some more games at the cabin… this man knew how to have fun!

Beofore the drinks were being poured at that little bar though — I distinctly remember having a conversation with Bill … one that I think laid out his motto for life. I don’t remember all the details… but one simple line stayed with me all this time. Like it was yesterday, I remember Bill saying “I think ya just goota do what makes you happy.”

Over the years, Andrea and I … and eventually our children … always had a good time with him whenever we visited. Whether it was at the cabin or in his home. There was always plenty of games, food, and fun.

Fast forward to just a couple weeks ago… As you all know, Bill got on his Harley that he loved so much… and rode that hog all the way from Minnesota to California, having the time of his life. HIs goal was to “ride the old route 66″ all the way — stopping at all the little touristy things that he could … taking nothing more than pictures and leaving nothing more than that contagious smile of his. (Ironically, he told us that the best “Route 66 State” was Oklahoma.)

He stayed with us for five or six days … of course played games with the kids (McKenna said her favorite card game he taught her is “golf”), found some boards in my garage and made a little racing ramp with Hudson’s toy cars, saw his karate class, doin’ everything a fun grandpa could do…

I personally feel incredibly blessed that our family got to share that last bit of time with him. On his next to last day, he got on his bike and rode to the Santa Monica pier because Andrea told him that there’s an “END OF ROUTE 66″ sign there and he just had to get a picture of it. His trip was complete.

Now.. I had another conversation with him where his personal life’s motto – or whatever you want to call it – came out again. We were talking about him riding the Harley across the country… motorcycle safety versus the freedom of the open rode… and ?at one point in the conversation, I turned to him and said,

“Well, I guess if that’s the way you go… ya figure at least you’ll go happy.”

“Yup” … “I just love the freedom of it all … it just makes me happy.”

So, from the first day I met him — to the last day I saw him, his life was about doing what made him, and others around him, happy.”

I’ve told Andrea this a number of times and I’ll sahre it with you… I’d rather go doing something I love rather than doing nothing with my life. I believe in living life to it’s fullest every day – and it’s clear that Bill did, too.

He genuinely cared about people… he loved to have a good time… and he had a huge sense of adventure. Andrea and I didn’t just lose a father and father-in-law… just like many of you, we lost a kindred spirit.

So, I hope you’ll honor Bill for the rest of your life. Live it to its fullest. And always remember Bill’s words, “Ya just gotta do what makes you happy.”